


anchor

by fanfiction_trashpile



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Canon Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, Female Reader, Pining, Slow Burn, reader is touchstarved and so am i, that's a trigger for some people, water planet/water violence/slight risk of drowning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:33:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28940025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfiction_trashpile/pseuds/fanfiction_trashpile
Summary: Poe Dameron is a flirt, and you’re determined not to fall for him. The mission must come first. Always.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Reader, Poe Dameron/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	anchor

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU AREN'T CAUGHT UP WITH HELIX THIS IS A PSA
> 
> this fic uses the bones of the chapter titled 6 Months Later from Helix Book 1: Horizons. if you're trying to avoid spoilers for that, don't read this. or go read that and then come back. 
> 
> thank u love u bye

As Poe Dameron flew the shuttle down to the planet’s surface, you were torn between looking at him and looking at the tiny islands dotting the blue surface of the planet before you.

“Welcome to Aeos II.” he grinned, eyes flickering over to you.

You caught his gaze as it wandered lazily down your form but did your best to ignore it. The pilot was a flirt and you weren’t about to fall for his charms like your roommate. And his whole squadron. And the mech crew on base. 

And the General.

You were just happy that you only took the occasional scouting rotation with him. Limiting your exposure to him was the only path forward that you’d found to ensure you remained unscathed.

Clearing your throat, you refocused on the surface of the planet. “It’s a shame the First Order has to find some of the most beautiful places in the galaxy to corrupt.”

It was impossible not to let your words put a damper on the mood. This was a great part of being in the Resistance: traveling to far off planets and adventuring places you’d never otherwise go. But you couldn’t forget the reason you were in the Outer Rim. The looming shadow of the First Order that seemed to creep blah blah words blah

Poe set the shuttle down at the edge of one of the many lakes in the central belt of the planet. The poles got cold, but there, it was nearly tropical. The air itself was heavy, like breathing through water.

The two of you checked your gear in relative silence before disembarking from the shuttle. You left BB-8 behind, in case the shuttle had to get moved or you were found out and needed a quick escape.

The plan was simple: get as close to the First Order facility as you could through the series of lakes on the surface of the planet and figure out what the facility is being used for.

And do not engage.

General Organa could not have stressed that last bit enough.

You weren’t at war yet. The Resistance was training pilots and ground crew like things were leaning that direction, but this wasn’t quite war. Leia refused to let the Resistance be the ones to cast the first stone.

Gather intel. Report back to base. Do not engage.

Easy enough.

You and Poe had already dawned your wetsuits. As you pulled your full-face mask on, checking the seal, you stole a glance at him. The tight dark fabric clung to his shoulders, defining each little movement he made. Your gaze followed the line of the zipper down his back.

His ass should be illegal.

“If you’re done staring, Lieutenant, we can get going.” The smirk in his voice was as infuriating as it was attractive, but his little glance over his shoulder nearly put you over the edge. Pure confidence oozed out of his every pore and it was threatening to drown you in a sea of hormones and fantasies that no one should be having about their commanding officer.

“Yes, sir.” You quickly shouldered your emergency pack, a small black bag that fit flush against your back, and dove headfirst into the lake. The water cooled your burning face, even through the thick plastic of the mask.

A lighting strip around the rim of your mask lit your way as you swam deeper. You flipped on your back once you reached the bottom, sculling with your hands to keep yourself seated as you waited for Poe to join you.

He did, a few short moments later that could have been an eternity. The reeds seemed to part before him as he swam around you, as graceful in the water as he was in the air.

“Ready to go?” His voice echoed in your mask at he turned on your comm link, startling you. His breathy laugh at your slight jump warmed something deep in your core, and you would have bet credits that you didn’t need your suit to combat the cold of the lake.

“Ready, sir.” You did your best to smile even as you mentally cursed your voice for being so tight.

“You can just call me Poe, y’know.”

You swam past him rather than responding, heading for the far bank of the lake. 

The two of you continued on like this for a while, swimming as deep as you could while still being able to see and only breaching the surface to jump the thin banks between lakes. The silence between you was comfortable, though still professional. You couldn’t afford for it to be anything else.

On one of the longer ones, where the moss was so deep that your boots sunk in up to your ankles, you had to walk single file for a short way before getting back into the lake in an effort to avoid sharp rocks. Poe didn’t take his hand off his blaster and didn’t let you get more than a step away from him, the sheer closeness and warmth radiating from his body making you lightheaded.

Distracting you enough that you missed a flash of grey armor seconds before a stream of red bolts came screaming out of the trees.

“Get into the water!”

You fired two shots over your shoulder, following Poe as he dove into the lake. He missed the sharp stones sticking up at odd angles, but you had to curl in on yourself to keep from getting impaled as you jumped in. You took a deep breath into your mask once you were sure you were deep enough to avoid the enemy fire, securing your blaster on the belt of your wetsuit and swimming into the depths of the lake after Poe.

He spun in the water onto his back, the lights on the inside of the mask casting strange shadows on his face as you swam through the reeds. “Did you get hit?” 

You shook your head, “No. You?”

Grinning, he said, “Damn troopers can’t aim. At least we know the First Order is--” Poe’s face contorted in pain moments before you were hit with a wave of water, nearly knocking your mask loose.

You couldn’t hear anything. Watching the reeds ripple in the distance, you shouted, “There’s another one. Swim down!”

He followed your lead, grabbing your hand. You pulled him into the depths of the lake, shockwaves through the water knocking you into each other as you tried to get below them. Your hand clasped in his as your lifeline as you searched for a way out.

“There!” his voice sounded like static coming through the comm unit in your mask. It took you a moment to figure out where he was pointing in the darkness, but your eyes eventually found a cavern opening on the far side of the lake.

Nodding to Poe, you swam together through the dense underwater forest. You tried not to shiver as your hand that wasn’t in his made contact with the slippery weeds, fighting the urge to escape to the surface away from the slimy plants.

Poe let go of your hand as you reached the mouth of the cave. It was too tight an opening to swim beside each other without running into each other, but something in your chest ached at the loss of his warmth.

You followed him in the dark. He didn’t get very far ahead of you, but the distance between you could have been a star system for all the attention he paid you.

Until he turned around and in the dancing shadows that crossed your face, you saw his lips moving.

“Poe? Can you hear me?”

The silence made you feel much more claustrophobic than the cavern ever could.

You grabbed his ankle, pulling him to a stop. As he whipped around the face you, beginning to chastise you for slowing you both down, you brought two fingers to tap on your mask near your ear, mouthing _I can’t hear you._

He froze, nodding in understanding. Tilting his lights down, he inspected the seal of your mask.

His fingers brushing the column of your throat had you gasping, the sharp sounds echoing inside the mask. When he let you go, it took you a moment to realize he was shaking his head. He shrugged, motioning to his own mask.

You should check his mask.

Right.

That made sense.

You swam close enough to see the depth of his brown eyes but quickly refocused, checking the seal of his mask the way he had yours. Without thinking, you cupped his jaw to turn his head so you could check the other side. His chest brushed yours as you turned, and you realized you’d somehow slotted him between your legs. Though you both floated, not touching aside from your hands on his neck, the sudden closeness sent a shiver through your body.

His hands gripped your arms and he mouthed slowly, ‘ _You hurt?’_

You shook your head.

His mask seemed to be fine. You repeated his body language back to him, a shake of your head and a shrug. Poe nodded and motioned toward the expanse of cavern ahead of you, question in his eyes.

Grabbing his hand, you pulled yourself alongside him, swimming at the same pace instead of single file. You reasoned that it was simply because you wouldn’t know if he got hurt or fell behind, but there was comfort having him in the darkness with you that you couldn’t ignore.

Occasionally, he’d squeeze your hand, as if a reminder that he was there. Like you could possibly forget, with how your hips brushed with every movement you made.

Finally, you reached a pocket of air.

Breaching the surface, you brought your blaster up as you scanned the shore. The cave was filled with a strange blue glow, coming from something other than the lights on Poe’s mask and the end of your blaster. A short shoreline on the far side of the cave lead into more darkness.

Swimming over to land, you hoisted yourself up on the rocks, holding out a hand for Poe once you were free from the water. He joined you, pulling off his mask and discarding it on the dark, sharp stones.

“Are you okay?” He asked as he reached for you, helping you take yours off. “Are you hurt anywhere?” Taking your hands, he inspected them for injury.

Laughing lightly at him, you pulled yourself from his grip. “No, I’m okay. You?” you choked out.

“I’m good.” He retrieved his mask and stood next to you, pointing the lights down into the cave. You hid a shudder as you watched how the darkness swallowed his beams of light. Leaning into the mask, he said, “BB-8? Can you hear me?”

Silence.

“What was that? In the lake?” you asked.

“I don’t know. But we have to figure it out before we leave.” He didn’t meet your eyes, still studying the path ahead of you. “Ready to keep going?”

“Not like we have a choice.” you grumbled, “Lead the way, Commander.”

You followed the tunnel wordlessly for a while, the only sound the crunch of gravel underfoot.

Finally, unable to bear it any longer, you said, “Do you think this cave was a good idea?”

“Do we really have the option to speculate on that?”

“I mean, sort of.” You kicked a particularly large stone further down the tunnel, “We could always turn around. Swim parallel with the shocks.”

“No. We can’t.”

“What?”

“Your mask is cracked.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Your mask is—”

“Yeah, I heard you. When did you notice that?”

“When you told me that you couldn’t hear me. It’s probably why your comms are shot.”

“You said it was fine!”

“I said it _seemed_ like it would hold. You couldn’t hear me.” His infuriating grin was back.

“You _lied_.”

“Would you rather I have told you and you freaked out while we were underwater?”

As much as you hated it, he did have a point.

“Okay… so you could turn around.” You said evenly, trying to get back to the task at hand.

Poe snorted, “And leave you here? Yeah, not happening.”

“Commander—”

He spun around, cutting you off. “Enough. This tunnel is at an incline. There aren’t any big cliffs around here, so it’s gotta be going to the surface.”

You held onto that hope for a few more silent minutes.

Until the tunnel began to level out…

And then began working its way back underground.

Poe signaled for you to stop, trying to reach BB-8 once more in vain. He sighed, eyes flickering around the tunnel like he’d be able to find the answers written in the stone.

“So, my turn-around-and-have-you-get-out plan is sounding pretty good right about now, isn’t it?” You leaned against the tunnel wall.

Your feeble attempt at the sass from earlier would have made him smile, if you hadn’t been suggesting that he abandon you.

“No. No, it is not.” He began to run through his options aloud, as if you weren’t there, “My mask won’t fit you, so that isn’t an option.”

“You don’t want to leave me behind, and you think I would leave you?” you snorted, crossing your arms, “Not happening, flyboy.”

A beep suddenly came through Poe’s mask.

“BB-8?” Poe slid his mask back on. You could only just make out his voice, heavily muffled through the seal. “We’re here! I can hear you!” A pause. “Yeah, buddy. Yeah, we can…” He turned around, feeling the side of the tunnel, and you lost the rest of what he was saying.

You leaned back against the wall, inspecting your blaster as he finished his muffled conversation with his droid. You’d study the floor sooner than watching him.

Which was a mistake.

His blaster went off and the wall behind you began to shake.

“Poe, what the fuck?!”

Dust and small rocks rained down on you both. The wall Poe had shot began to crumble and you tackled him to the ground.

When the world stopped rumbling around you, you peaked up from where you’d hidden your face in his shoulder.

The rest of the tunnel was standing. Where Poe had shot, the wall had caved in enough to see slivers of light peeking through the openings.

You hit him.

Square in the chest with as much force as you could put behind it.

Poe coughed, staring up at you in shock.

“You could have killed us!”

In your anger, you missed the way you were straddling him. How he’d propped himself up on his elbows. How close your faces were.

You were expecting anger, but his voice was soft. “BB-8 said it was fine. We’re safe. I wouldn’t have done it if he hadn’t scanned the area—”

“You could have said something before you went shooting at shit!” You tried to hit him again, but he caught your wrist and pinned your hand to your thigh.

“Stop. Stop hitting me. You’re safe.” He fully sat up, forcing you to sit back on his thighs. One hand came up to cup your face and you froze. His thumb traced along your jaw, and his gaze dropped to watch it move over your soft skin. “You’re safe,” he said again.

Heartbeat thundering in your ears, you quickly climbed off him and tried to brush some of the fallen cave dust from your suit. It just stuck to your hands, leaving you grimy. You turned to the collapsed wall.

Climbing over some of the fallen debris, you poked your head through a gap near the top. Here, the light was brightest, and you could see another tunnel winding its way to the surface. You did your best to shrug off the tightness in your chest. “Commander, I think that worked.”

“Well, go on then.” He was right behind you.

You forced yourself forward rather than jumping at the noise and squeezed through the gap. When you dropped down to the cave floor on the other side, your feet sunk in sand.

Poe followed you out. The tunnel was a short way to the surface. It opened up into a cave, only slightly bigger than your bedroom on D’Qar. On the far side, you could see the last of daylight, filtering through a waterfall that covered most of the cavern opening.

“We’ll stay here tonight.” His leadership voice slid into place like nothing had happened. “Get out of your gear. You’ll freeze.”

You shucked off your emergency pack and undressed quickly. The thermal layers under your suit would keep you warm. They dried quickly, even in the absence of heat.

Poe set his pack down unceremoniously and seemed to be struggling to grip the zipper at the back of his wetsuit. Every time he twisted to reach back for it, he winced in pain. And glanced your way.

You caught his gaze. Setting your suit to the side, you crossed the space without telling your body to move. “Let me.” you whispered, reaching out for the back of his wetsuit.

"Thank you." He mumbled, letting his arms drop to his sides. "Are you-- You're okay?" He asked for the thousandth time.

You worked the wetsuit off over his head and came to stand in front of him as you pulled it gently down his arms, your hands trembling as you worked. Poe let you help, his lips parting as he watched you. The concentration in your face, the way your hands shook... he freed his hands from the wrist gaskets and took yours in his own.

His hands on yours. Skin to skin. You pulled back quickly, wanting to cry out at the loss but keeping it in. "If you're good, we should get to work. We need a plan for tomorrow." Your voice was even, the only thing about you that was in control.

"Are you okay?" You breathed, needing the answer before you could walk away. There was something in his eyes when he looked at you that kept you rooted to the spot.

"Yeah." You watched him swallow. "You?"

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes for a second, before turning away and walking over to you gear, getting a fire starter and a shock blanket from the emergency pack you had carried. You held out the fire starter to him, fighting to keep your tone even. "Will you start the fire?" your gaze met his, softening for a moment. “Please.” Your voice wasn’t cold like before, but warm and cracking around the edges.

"Whatever you want." The words were out of his mouth before he could think about the implication, tone void of any of the flirting and teasing from before.

Your breath hitched at his words, his tone, the look in his eyes. It was like you could see right through him, every scar and fear and need and want. He meant it. Anything you wanted. Your gaze fell to the floor as you handed the fire starter off to him, careful not to touch his skin. Part of you wanted to feel his touch just one more time. Fear held you back. You sank down onto the ground beside you gear, whispering a quiet, "Thanks."

He got to work, setting the small disk in the centre of the cave. Not looking at you as he asked "You didn't answer me. Are you okay?" The sparker lit on his second try, setting a small fire in the centre of the disk.

You sorted through the rest of the gear, laying the wet pieces out to dry near the fire. It would grow as it consumed the metal of the disk until it was nothing, but for now it wouldn’t do much for either of you or your wet gear. "We have a mission to finish."

"Hey…" he leaned back against the wall of the cave, looking at you carefully.

"Don't." You met his eyes, trying and failing to put walls between you. "I'll be fine. Always am." Sitting down, you wrapped a blanket from your emergency pack around your shoulders and leaned back against the rough side of the cave, trying to focus on anything other than Poe.

He slid down the wall and settled in beside you beside you. You relaxed a little, feeling his warmth so close. “Fuck.” you breathed, curling and uncurling your fingers, stiff from the cold.

Poe held his hands out, an open invitation. You set your hands in his, tentatively, the pads of your fingers brushing his palms lightly.

He couldn't look you in the eyes as he worked on warming your hands. Lips barely brushing your skin, he waited until the distinct chill had faded before letting you go and sitting back, not once focusing on your face.

“Poe...” you mumbled, your hands reaching for him the second he let go, not wanting the contact to end.

Swallowing, "Yeah?" he didn't move, eyes flitting over you.

“Can we...” you asked, not really sure what you wanted, your hand still reaching for his.

"Still cold?"

You shook you head, dropping your gaze. You shifted next to him until your leg brushed up against his. “‘m sorry.” you whispered.

"Nothing to be sorry for." He faced you and opened his arms.

You were cold. That's all this was. You were both cold and you needed to sleep and body heat was the way to warm up.

Every time you looked at him, you imagined what his lips would feel like.

You moved into his open arms, tucking the blanket around both of you. Every moment of it was wrong, but it was like you couldn’t stop yourself from needing him. Everywhere your skin touched, you felt like you were on fire and all you wanted was to burn.

“You should sleep.” you whispered, shutting your eyes and burying you face in his chest, your words trying to push him away even as you drew yourself in closer.

"So should you." He brought a hand to the back of your head, fingers in your damp hair, ignoring how his shoulders protested at the movement.

You jumped a little bit when he touched your head, a red blush creeping up your neck. If he didn’t stop soon, you were going to fall asleep in his arms.

And you wanted to. Too much all at once. You forced yourself to sit up, still in his arms, his hand still tangled in your hair as you gaze met his. “We should comm BB-8. Figure out an exit strategy.”

Poe bit the inside of his cheek, trying, and failing, to keep his eyes on yours. He faltered as he glanced at your lips, sitting back slightly but not letting you go.

He grabbed his mask, speaking into it without putting it on so that you could also hear his little droid.

They determined together that if you left out the mouth of the cave before the sun rose the next morning, you may be able to make it around the back side of the facility. With you nestled into his chest, Poe played with the ends of your hair and made a plan, and you let him.

You let him hold you until your shivering stopped, both of you curled up under the blanket. Though you could have gotten up and unpacked his emergency kit, it was hard to argue with the body head and comfort that Poe seemed to readily provide.

“Better?” He finally asked, breaking the silence.

You weren’t sure if there was a right answer, if he would let go if you said yes. “I think so.”

“You should sleep.” He kissed the top of your head and you trembled, though not from the cold.

You wrenched yourself away from him before you could think about it, but his hands tightening on your waist kept you from fully untangling yourself from him. "I meant here. You don't have to move."

The uncharacteristic desperation on his face made you pause. "Your shoulders--"

"Are fine." he finished, "This will be more comfortable than the rock."

There was a longing in his eyes that stole your breath. Reaching a hand up and touching the side of his face lightly, you brushed up into his curls, the way he had tangled his fingers in yours before. His lips parted in a soft groan and you caved, leaning in close enough to brush your lips across his cheek.

"We really shouldn't." You breathed against his soft skin, pulling away enough to see his eyes. "I'll be here when you wake up."

Leaning into your touch, his eyelids fluttered, "We’re just sleeping. No harm done."

You ignored his statement entirely. “Do you want to keep the blanket?” When he shook his head, you shifted out of his grip. "Goodnight, Poe." Your body screamed at you as you pulled away, the cold of the cave sinking into you bones as his warmth left you, even with the blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Walking around the fire, you claimed space as far from him as you could. It was what was best for the mission. The mission would always come first.

You weren’t the only one that had ever looked at him and felt like he was seeing you – like maybe he was the first person that ever had. You weren’t the only one that had thought about what his lips might feel like. You weren’t the only one that had looked into those soft brown eyes and felt a silence come to your soul. 

You couldn’t be.

He was like this with everyone.

Poe Dameron loved easy. You couldn’t fall for it, or you’d drown.

If he could see your face, he would see every emotion that broke the ice, swimming on the surface of your thoughts. He would cross the room, maybe. Hold you. But your back was to him, your face turned away, and something told you that he wouldn't push you. Even if you wanted him to.

You heard him slide down the wall, settling in against the cold stone of the cave. “Goodnight.”


End file.
